As Told By Freya
by andthencomes
Summary: When my brother died I felt lost. Opie found me. He completed me, gave me everything - including a child, and then he was torn from me just like everyone else in my life. This is the story of our lives as told by me. AU Opie doesn't have other children. Jax and Tara's story line will be significantly different. Abel is not in custody of Jax. Opie/Jax/OC - Ultimately Jax/OC
1. Chapter 1

Something feels off. It's been an entire week since I've heard from him, his phone rings to voicemail; he's not answering my text, Facebook messages, I've even resorted so snail mail – nothing! I don't know what to do. My baby brother has never gone this long without speaking to me. Usually a day at the most will pass before I hear from him. It's got to be that hillbilly biker gang that he belongs to, what have they done now? It wasn't enough that they snatched him up right after he returned from deployment but now this. Why haven't I heard from Kip?

As I sit an oversized table in a terribly cliché coffee shop with my laptop in front of me I wonder what I should do next – I could go pop in, just a visit. After all I do work for myself and running a fashion blog can be done almost anywhere; and I do miss my brother terribly, he's the only family I have left. I'll just make sure he's okay and go about my business. I do owe him some money anyways and with the chunk of change mom's estate brought in I'm sure he'd be glad to cash his in. Maybe then he'll leave the sons of blasphemy or whatever they call themselves. He could start over, maybe even buy a house. That's what I'm doing anyways - Why shouldn't he? He is only a car ride away – 36 minutes to be exact. It wouldn't take long at all. That's it – I'm doing it! No more Mrs. Nice Girl… I'm going to find my baby brother whether he likes it or not.

I snap my laptop shut, gather my things and I'm off. Driving down the highway in my mother's ruby red 64' Impala, I almost forget how angry I am at my brother for losing contact. The steering wheel starts to shake the faster I go but I don't care, I'm a woman on a mission.

I drive past his house, his motorcycle isn't there and all the lights are off. Maybe he's at work? It couldn't hurt to try. A few minutes later I pull up to Teller-Morrow Automotive Repair, there are more cars there than I would have expected for a Sunday morning. I look around for a moment before spotting Kip's motorcycle. The only reason I can tell it apart from the others is because on the back there is a sticker of my logo – a small teal triangle with a fuchsia circle around it, my initials FE in the middle. I smiled to myself, how masculine is he running around with a fashion label on his bike?

I wonder to myself where he could be, there was a door open on the furthest side of the lot and a few members sitting at a picnic table smoking cigarettes. I shake my head, thinking I could use one myself but instead I park my car and give myself a once over. My make up slightly smeared around my almond eyes, I don't bother to wipe it away. My curls are out of control from the wind but I don't care, it's just Kip after all, and he could hardly tell his ass from his toes. I turn off my car, not bothering to lock it, something I often do. This explains why my cell phone so regularly gets stolen.

I can feel myself practically sprinting towards the club house, not very lady like for the attire that I'm wearing, but again I don't care. I just want to see my Kip. I slow down as I reach the door, looking to the older men at the table. They're looking at me like I'm a bat out of hell. I guess they've never seen a woman with class before, or a vintage Jackie O Chanel dress from the 1960's before. I sigh loudly, hoping they'll say something but they remain silent. "Hello, sorry to bother but I'm here to see Kip." I look to each of them, clicking my peep toe Louboutin against the pavement.

One of them, older with curly hair and a pot belly finally pipes up, avoiding eye contact with me. "Ma'am, The service is over."

I raise an eyebrow, "Excuse me?"

"Haven't you heard?" He speaks again, this time quieter.

"Heard what?" I respond, nibbling against my lower lip, I really don't have time for practical jokes.

"I'm sorry to break this news miss but-"He starts, I don't wait for him to take a breath. I cannot hear what he has to say next. I raise my hand to stop him before continuing inside; where I'm going I don't know but I cannot listen to this old man speak any longer. My head is brewing with confusion, what is that old man talking about? My Kip must be inside. As I walk down the corridor I begin to see familiar faces. I have seen them in Kip's photographs, except in real life they aren't all smiling, there is a mood set in this room that is the exact opposite. None of them look at me directly, not that I even expect them to know who I am.

I look from side to side, not seeing Kip I begin to wonder where he could be and then it hits me. I look forward, a casket standing ten feet a head. It couldn't be, could it? I suddenly feel like an intruder, How could I just barge into somebody else's funeral, for people I don't even like. I look to the side, finally seeing my Kip. Except instead of seeing him standing I see a picture, a memorial photo even. I can't help what comes next; I rush forward pushing every person I come to the side.

There is no way it could be Kip, not my brother. Not my baby brother. When I reach the casket I see a sunken in face of the one person I love the most. My knees fail me, my throat opens, I'm screaming. I feel my hands cover my face and then the sides of his coffin. "No." I repeat to myself, "No. No. No."

I can feel somebody behind me. "Get away from him." I try to scream but it only comes out as a whisper. I can't keep my hands off of him, his face is so cold. He feels like rubber. I cry and I cry, not caring who is there to see. "Why didn't anyone tell me?" I whisper, "What happened?"

A set of hands reach for my shoulders, rubbing gently against them. "Freya?" I can barely hear the voice behind me.

Opie. One of two people from this gang that I actually know. The only one that I don't despise. When his wife died Kip confided in me, I even met with the two of them a few times for dinner. It seemed like since Donna's passing the two had grown very close. In this moment I'm glad he is here. I turn to look at him, disappointed that he hadn't reached out to me but I can see the sadness in his eyes. He feels the same pain I do, I know it. I forgive him. But I have to know what happened. I have to figure this out. I have to fix this. All of this. Why hadn't I been a better sister? I could have saved him. I should have protected him. Should have come sooner. I cannot breathe. I push myself into Opie's arms, not caring what anybody else thinks. "Get me out of here." I whisper, burying my face into his chest. My legs give underneath me but he doesn't seem to mind. He picks me up like I'm a child and carries me away.


	2. Chapter 2

It's been days since the funeral, days since I've eaten or done anything for that matter. After the funeral my car wouldn't start, so I'm stuck in Charming until it's fixed. Opie's taking care of that for me. He has taken care of everything for me. He brings me meals, runs the shower for me (that I have yet to except), insist I sleep in his bed. Sits beside me until I fall asleep, rubs my back to soothe me. He treats me like I'm family and for that I am grateful. He even lets me wear his old sweats. No more couture for me.

I've been updated on what happened and as of right now I cannot go into details. It just hurts too bad, I'm sorry. All I can say is Kip or Half Sack as his friends call him died a hero, He saved the lives of another member's girlfriend or Old Lady as they refer to them here and their child. That child was taken away after the 'incident' as the officer so lightly put it when I went to speak with them. Good for that child, I could never imagine my babies growing up in such an environment. My heart hurts for their loss the same way it hurts for mine. I hope they understand now how I feel. Maybe that's selfish but at this point I don't care.

I am overwhelmed. I wish I could sleep for more than two hours at a time. I can see the toll this has taken on Opie. Maybe I should go. He insists that I stay though. I'm at a loss of what to do and right now I'm scared to be alone. I'm glad he stays with me.

Just as my thoughts are overtaking me I hear a knock at his door. "Come in." I say, feeling more like I should be the one asking for entrance. I feel like the intruder here.

Jackson teller comes through the door, standing there with hands fished into his jeans. "I know nothing I can say or do will help but I want you to know that we have gone and collected some of your things for you. We thought maybe you would feel more at home here. I don't know how long it will be before your car is fixed but you're welcome in Charming for as long as you'd like. We also want you to know that Half Sack's house is yours for the taking. We wouldn't want anybody else to have it but you." He doesn't make eye contact with me, but I can't blame him. I look more like a swamp thing then a human. "Your brother saved my sons life, I am forever grateful."

"Why are you so grateful, they took your son away?" My eyebrow rises.

"I'll get him back; it's only a matter of time." He nods. "Well, here are your things." He leaves the room for a moment, only to return with a large suit case. "I assure you we will have your car done as soon as we possibly can. We're just waiting on a few parts to come in." I only nod in response before rolling back over. I wait a few moments before opening my eyes, the door clicks and I take it as a sign he's gone. A sigh of relief comes from my lips. They're dry and cracked.

I turn back over, examining the bag. It's not mine. I reach over to grab it and surprisingly enough it doesn't reek of cigarettes. I am surprised when I open it to find a few pairs of jeans, shorts, a few of my couture dresses, underwear, bras, and even a pair of my more expensive lingerie. Okay, that's weird. I roll my eyes, wondering who has gone through my things but feel of a wave of relief when I find a makeup back and my toiletries. I should probably shower after all. Maybe even face the world. Maybe.

I pick my toiletries and head to the bathroom, feeling weaker than my usual graceful self; I grab hold to the wall. I can hear Opie trotting down the hall, the chain hanging from his jeans jingling as he walks. "I'm fine." I call towards him, unable to see him.

It's amazing what a shower can do for you, my limbs feel weightless. I feel better for a moment as I apply soap to my skin. The aroma of Chanel filling the air as I wash myself. It smells like home. As I wash myself I can feel my bones protruding. As much as I enjoy being thin this is disgusting. Kip wouldn't want me to starve myself. He wouldn't want me to feel this way. I sigh loudly, hearing a knock at the door. My thoughts are interrupted.

"Are you okay?" I hear the door crack open, I don't respond. My mind only wonders back to Kip. I can't even tell if I'm crying. I feel myself slide down the glass wall of the oversized shower, my hands fall to the ground. I can't pick myself up. I'm back to broken. I don't even notice the door slide open. I don't notice him calling my name; I don't notice anything until he waves his hands in front of my face. I can't see straight.

"I miss him." I whisper, lunging myself forward into his arms. I don't even care that I'm naked.

"I know you do, Frey." He's looking me in the eye, he's rubbing my face. The way he looks at me, I know he can feel it too. I can't even imagine the pain he's going through. He's been through twice the loss that I have. I place my hand against his heart, his eyes never leaving mine. He's a blur in front of me but he is here and that is what matters. I don't know how I have become so comfortable in front of him or how his being involved in the MC doesn't bother me but for some reason I don't mind that he's here. I don't mind that his hands have moved to around my waist or that he's sat me in his lap, cradling me once again. I bury my head into his shoulder, my hands resting on his chest. His clothes are soaked but he doesn't seem to mind. "I'm going to get you through this." He mumbles, "Just like Kip did for me."

I can't stop myself. I don't know where this is coming from but I reached forward and kissed him. Eyes closed, mouth open, waiting for him to respond. Maybe it's a comfort thing. Maybe I'm lonely. Fuck, maybe I'm just horny. I don't know but when he starts kissing me back, I secretly hope he never stops.

The next thing I know his clothes are off, I'm straddling him, tears streaming down my face, begging him to make the pain go away. His tattoos are sexy (I hate tattoos), his body chiseled, his hands rough from years of work. I beg him, "Please."


	3. Chapter 3

One moment, one poor lapse of judgment, it can change everything. I have learned that well recently. As I stare down at this piss covered stick I can't help but sigh. We should have been safer; I shouldn't have just cried and fallen hopelessly down on his dick. What is wrong with me? What happened to the once romantic I used to be. Why am I even thinking like this? This should be the happiest day of my life – but it's not. Far from it actually. I don't know how to handle this, what to do or to say. First losing Mom, then Kip, now this.

I look down at the two pink lines, my once precise manicured hands now shaking in fear. How am I going to explain this to my friends? I would say my family but with Kip and Mom gone, there is no one else. I throw the test in the trash can, followed by a mass of toilet paper to cover it. I am certainly not ready for Opie to find out or anyone for that matter.

The next few hours come as a blur; I lay in the bed I've so easily allowed myself to call my own. Maybe I should leave, after all my car has been good to go for the last week. I could stay at Kips, I could go home, but I can't bring myself to it yet. I can't even bring myself to post on my blog or answer the calls of prospective clients. I've put everything on standstill, only shooting a few emails to who's important back home. Not explaining what happened is hard but admitting it to myself, writing it on paper - that's impossible. I just can't.

I don't feel pregnant. I don't look pregnant. I wonder if I smell pregnant. I let my mind wonder for a moment before hearing the door crack open. My back is to the wall. I am naked, just how I feel. Only covered by his sheets.

"Hey you." He calls, his voice is hoarse. He's been smoking. A few moments of silence pass before the weight of the bed sinks. I feel one of his hands on my hip, his bare chest meets my back once again, I sigh. The tingling feeling I get from his touch is there. Somehow different now, I shiver. His lips meet my shoulder. I want nothing more than to turn around and have him rock my world once again.

Sex. Sex is the one thing that is able to capture my thoughts for long enough to forget. Forget about Kip, forget about my mother, real life, my baby, the fact that I'm now tied to a motorcycle gang, everything. As his hands meet my thighs, I part for him. Turning over, my eyes wonder to him. He's wearing only sleep pants, they're hanging dangerously low. I'm terribly turned on, I want to give in.

I want to kiss him; I want to continue to forget. I want nothing more than to just lay with him forever, never face the real world again. I dream that he isn't wearing a gun 90% of the time and that he doesn't disappear in the middle of the night and that he never comes back clothes covered in blood. My eyes close, thoughts overwhelming me once more. For the first time sex isn't enough to help me drift away.

A few moments pass before I notice he's still staring at me, his hands have somehow tangled themselves into my hair. "What?"

"Can't I just admire a pretty lady?" Okay, he's drunk. I suddenly realize there is alcohol on his breath. I sigh loudly, coming back to reality. If only he knew the truth, if only I could utter the words I so desperately need to get out.

I look at him for a moment, trying to stomach the smell of tequila on his breath. He doesn't wait for me to respond before kissing me. He kisses me everywhere. First my lips, then my neck, my chest and my stomach. I shudder at the thought, if only he knew what he was really kissing. I feel my legs part once again, he reaches up, returning to my lips. He kisses me again, digging himself into me. I fight the urge to think, I try to forget. It even works for a while.

For a few moments he continues to push into me, my legs instinctively wrap around his waist. I try to let my mind wonder, desperately aiming myself towards the release I need. I feel waves of ecstasy mounting against my most sensitive spot. For being as drunk as he is his bedtime skills aren't lacking. I begin to moan as he slams into me, he keeps going. I'm so close. His fingers rub against my clitoris, my legs start to shake. As he pulls back for a moment I look up at him, my eyes opening for the first time since he started fucking me. He mumbles, "I love you." as he crashes into me once again, this time I feel him tense. He releases himself into me.

Well, that was unexpected.


	4. Chapter 4

I wish I knew how to respond to somebody I barely know confessing their love for me. I also wish I could begin to explain to that same person we are having a child. He lies next to me, arms tightly crossed over my waist. If only he knew what he was holding.

He stirs, I'm careful not to move. I can smell his breath even when my back turned to him. It's stale with cigarettes, tequila, and morning. I can feel my stomach turning but I don't move in fear of waking him. I'm not ready to have any conversation with him or to face reality.

I don't know what I'm going to do or to say for that matter. All I can do is lay and ponder my options. Well, abortions out of the question. Been there, done that. Ten years of therapy can't even begin to touch that subject. Adoption - No. Just not. Parent by myself - Probable. Allow Opie to help - Unlikely that he will even want to take site of this baby or even me after I tell him.

My thoughts are interrupted as he begins to speak, "Baby..." His lips meet my shoulder.

"Don't you baby me, Mister." I laugh quietly, turning to face him. I try to ignore the smell coming from his breath. "So you love me, huh?" my eyebrow raises.

His cheeks flush, lip parting slightly, he doesn't speak. I wait for a moment before and even open my mouth but he puts a finger to my lips. "As much as you think I'm helping you, I believe it's you that's bringing me back to life. Every day I spend with you, you teach me something new. You aren't like anyone I have ever met." He stops for a moment, eyes searching for a response. I don't speak, "And it's not just because you don't wear leather."

I can't help but laugh at him. How can somebody be so serious yet so funny at the same time? "Before you say anything else, I must tell you something."

"No, you listen to me." His lips meet mine, mouth closed. He never seems to mind kissing me in the morning. "You make me want to be better. It wasn't just me being a drunken slob. I'm lovin' you."

"Ope." I find myself sighing once more, "I hope that's true." I don't say it back. I don't even know if I feel the same way. All I know is I must tell him the truth. "I'm pregnant."

Before he can even respond I dart out of the bed, I feel a sudden wave of nausea. I practically throw myself against the toilet, not caring that I'm naked, that it's cold, or even that Opie probably took a shit here hours ago. Vomit comes quick, leaving a disgusting taste in my mouth. I sit up slowly, setting my hands on the porcelain bowl.

Returning to his room a few moments later I call his name. There is no response, his pile of clothes are gone. I feel a wave of sadness rush over me.

I guess that answers that.


	5. Chapter 5

I've never felt love before, at least not this kind of love. I haven't ever been so blinded by emotion in my entire life. I look over at the screen, barely even noticing when the doctor, Tara, speaks. Today I am 14 weeks pregnant. Today – I am in love with this little dot on a screen. I can't make out its head from its toes, or even if it has toes but I'm in love. I look around the room, pamphlets lining the walls, diagrams of huge bellies and large fonts displaying risk of drugs and pregnancy.

"Where's Opie?" She says, my attention turning to her.

"Why don't you tell me?" I sigh, "I haven't heard from him since the day he found out I was knocked up."

As she wipes the goop off my stomach I can't help but notice her frown and the fact that she's frantically shaking her head. "Listen, I know you don't want to hear this from me but if you know what's best you will take this baby and get as far away from Charming as possible. This club is no life for a child; I only wish I could have done the same."

I pull at my shirt, covering my stomach (which by the way looks more like I've eaten too many tacos rather than being full of baby.). "Abel isn't even yours. So it's not really the same now is it?" I speak without evening thinking. When I notice the look she gives I instantly feel regret. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." I reach out to touch her arm but she moves away from me, my chart in her hands. "And you can tell Opie or Jax or whoever cares to know, I am leaving Charming. Just as soon as I can find somebody to buy Kip's place."

She doesn't speak, only nods. I can't look at her any longer. If it hadn't been for her Kip wouldn't have ever been in this place, wouldn't be dead. I wouldn't be pregnant. I sigh loudly as she begins to speak. "I know I haven't really gotten the chance to express my condolences for Kip but if it's any consolation he saved my son. He was great with Abel, with everyone."

I can't bear to listen to her any longer, she doesn't even know what she's talking about. She didn't know the real Kip, my Kip. If it wasn't for the fact that she was the only reputable OB in this hick town I would have gone elsewhere. So with that I pick up the little pictures she printed of my little sassypants (What I refer to my baby as) and walk out.

When I arrive at my car I'm surprised to see Opie there. It really figures he'd pick now to show up. I look at him for a moment, in one hand he has a plastic duck and in the other a lit cigarette. I can't help but roll my eyes. He flicks it out as soon as he sees me.

"Hey." He doesn't look at me directly. "Can we talk?"

"There's nothing to talk about, you made it pretty apparent what your choice is." I mumble quietly, reaching into my bag for my keys. I fumble for a few moments before dropping my bag onto my hood. I tried to ignore him as he steps closer, placing the small duck down next to my bag.

I can feel him behind me and as his hand reaches for mine I can't help but feel the same butterflies that he once gave me. He rests his hand on top of mine before I pull back. Why does he have to do this to me? I won't accept somebody that walks in and out of my life. That is not okay for me and that surely isn't okay for my baby. I reach down to cover my stomach and even though he's behind me I can feel his eyes wondering with my every move.

"I didn't leave cause I don't love you, Frey." He moves closer to me, his hands now moving to my waist. He places his hands on my stomach, causing me to shutter. "I'm a fool, I was scared." He says, "I don't want what happened to Jax and Abel to happen to our… baby." His head is now resting on my shoulder. "I don't ever want to put you into a situation like Kip was in." My heart is sinking. "I just don't think this club is the right place for this baby to be." I can feel tears coming. I won't let them fall. Damn these pregnancy hormones.

"You're right and that's why as soon as I sell this place, I'm moving back home." I mumble, tears now falling freely. Well, isn't this white trash?

"I'll go with you." I turn around to look at him as he speaks, his hands moving from my waist to either sides of my cheeks. "We'll make something good for this kid. We can make it work."


	6. Chapter 6

It's been six weeks since Opie came back into my life and with some real time and effort he is proving to me that being a family is what he really wants. We have also decided to stay in Charming until after the baby is born so we can get this house sold (which is proving to be a lot harder after they find out about the MC's involvement). Also, Opie has been working a lot to pull in some extra cash. I'm not sure what he's up to but I have a feeling It's nothing good. He's always speaking in code, Jax is always here pulling him aside from me, their runs – as they so gently call them, get longer and the amount of sleep I'm getting is few and far between.

I always worry when he's gone, especially when I'm sent to their club house to stay with the other ladies. Opie says it is for my safety but with the way the other girls look at me I don't feel very well protected.

I have been sitting here for about an hour now waiting on Opie to pick me up. He's been at something called Church? I'm surrounded by people who insist on chain smoking in doors, and I feel like I smell like an ashtray. At this rate our baby is going to be born covered in tar.

I inwardly sigh as I try to stand. As the weeks pass it gets harder for me to get up without leaning on somebody or having Opie practically yank me out of my chair. I'm twenty two weeks pregnant today. We are actually supposed to be on our way to the 'big ultrasound' as Tara so brightly puts it, but Opie isn't anywhere to be found and with my belly to arm ratio I can no longer safely drive my car.

My eyes wonder for a moment, looking around the club house for a familiar face. Why isn't Opie here? We're going to be late. Standing awkwardly here won't get me anywhere. I finally decide I have waiting long enough.

I march my fat ass around the rooms of the club house, looking for any sign of this so called church they have. After a few moments I can hear voices distinctly coming from a set of double doors. I go to knock but stop myself, listening as they speak.

"Are you kidding me?" I hear Opie, he seems upset.

"Ope, I need you. You're my go to." It's Jax.

I hear shuffling around the room, "I can't keep going on these gun runs. I have a kid to worry about J. I've got to get out of this."

"Listen brother, Once your old lady pops one out you can take a break but right now I need you watching my back. With Chibs and Bobby being targeted and Clay's health deteriorating, You are my only hope right now." I hear Opie laugh, "And you'll be paid significantly."

"When?"

"The end of September." I hear Jax say. Mortified, I realize that's right about the time I'll be having our baby.

There is a long silence before I hear the doors click, jumping back I try to pretend I was in the process of knocking.

'What the fuck is going on?' I think to myself. I look over to Opie as he walks towards me, "Baby, we're going to be late. I couldn't wait anymore." I'm rambling.

Opie grabs my hand, pulling me out of the way of the other guys. We walk down the hallway together silently, my eyes peering over at him. He looks unsettled but he doesn't say anything. In fact he doesn't say anything the entire way to the doctor's office.

When we arrive I try to get something out of him, anything at all, but he doesn't budge. _Well, there goes my excitement._

I try to ignore what I heard and it even works during the appointment, especially when we see the baby on the screen. It actually looks like a baby now! When Tara asks if we want to know the gender both Opie and I cheer 'yes' in unison.

"You all have yourselves a healthy baby girl!" Tara smiles at us and after a few moments of further explanation as to what to expect over the next few months she leaves us.

"A little princess." I hear Opie whisper, he's frowning. I feel like his mind is elsewhere. A moment passes though and his complete expression changes, he's smiling evening.

"What?" I say, pulling my dress back down over my stomach. I go to stand up but Opie steps in front of me.

"I'm just..." he pauses, "I didn't think it was going to be a girl." He reaches forward, placing his arms around me. Opie places his lips against mine, kissing me. "We're gonna have a little killer on our hands if she looks anything like her momma.", He steps back from me, "I wish I could just keep this moment forever."

In this moment I could care less about what I heard earlier (I don't even know the full story yet, so why be upset.), I reach forward pulling his beanie off, my hands reach instinctively into his hair, pulling him closer to me. I kiss him long and hard, completely taken back by him. He is everything I shouldn't want in a man but...** "I love you."**

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**Feeling a little writers block today but just wanted to let everyone know I appreciate your reviews! Leave any feedback with suggestions or your thoughts on the story! Your reviews are what inspire me to continue to write! **


	7. Chapter 7

The ticking clock in the kitchen keeps me awake at night when I'm alone. Lately it seems like I'm always alone. I stare at the door, hoping it will open and that Opie is home. It's four in the morning and he's nowhere to be found. Why is he always gone?

I lay there for what seems like forever, drifting in and out of sleep. The baby, Ruby (as Opie has declared her name… I'm not so sure), is playing field hockey with my ribs. I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. I look around, still no sign of life other than myself.

I get up slowly, grabbing my silk nightgown off of Opie's dresser. I put it on quickly when I hear a noise coming from down the hall. I look from room to room, nothing. How strange.

The last door in the hallway is closed, I try to keep quiet afraid of what I might find but as I creak the door open slightly I'm surprised to see Opie. I've never been in this room before but I am shocked to see a crib, a changing table, and even pink walls. He's fallen asleep in the rocker, fully clothed, holding a picture of our baby.

I can feel tears swelling in my eyes; it's so strange to see him out of his element. He doesn't look like he belongs here but in my heart I know he does. I wipe them away before stepping closer to him. It's hard to keep quiet with the way I stomp-waddle these days. When I touch his beard he stirs, "Come to bed, baby." I say, rubbing my thumb against his cheek.

When he comes to he almost immediately jumps out of the chair, "Surprise." He says, smiling down at me. "It's not finished yet but it's a start. Just until we move, I want Ruby to feel at home too."

I throw my arms around his neck, "It's wonderful." I don't waste time to start kissing him, his hands move to my rear. "But for now, come to bed." I giggle, letting go of him. Before he can object I grab his hand, practically pulling him with me to our bedroom. He's close behind me, his hands move to my waist and to my bottom once again. It's strange to have a man want you even when you feel like you've doubled in size. It doesn't seem to bother him though because when we reach the bed he commands me to sit.

Not wasting anytime he gets down on his knees in front of me, pulling the silk strap down from my dress, he plants kisses on my shoulder before pulling the front of my dress down. Since I've become pregnant my breast have tripled in size, but here I am fully exposed and he doesn't seem to mind. He kisses each of them. I feel my legs parting, hands running through his hair. He nibbles gently at my nipple, cupping the other breast in his large hands. He moves his head downward, backing up I can feel his hands move to my thighs, he's parting them gently, planting kisses dangerously close to my most sensitive area.

I can feel my thighs convulsing as I lean backwards against the bed, my hands bracing me as he licks me all over. He has one hand rubbing my breast and his other diligently working against my pussy. He's pounding against me, tongue swirling against my clitoris. I'm trying so hard not to cum, even harder to not hit him in the head with my big belly. I moan loudly as he tugs on my breast, "...Fuck me." I beg, sitting up.

I look down at him, pulling him up with my hands. He stands in front of me, I'm eye level with his groin. I reach forward grabbing his belt, tugging hastily to get his pants off. He's exposed in front of me moments later, my mouth quickly darting towards his cock. I take him into my mouth fully, choking on him. Did I ever mention how well endowed he is?

After a few minutes of hair pulling, gagging, and sucking on him he pulls back. "Get on your hands and knees." He commands me, I oblige.

"Fuck me, Daddy." I beg, bending over the bed in front of him. I hear him behind me taking off his shirt, he easily slides into me a few moments later. When he fucks me like this I can't help but cum, over and over again. He spanks me, makes me beg, leaves my ass covered in his hand prints. I know he loves it when I call him daddy because as I'm screaming it I feel his release fill me. He leans over me for a moment, sweat dripping from his forehead onto my back. "You're going to be such a good daddy." I murmur.

**Fucking while you're pregnant is the best. Everyone should be doing it.**


	8. Chapter 8

Loving Opie Winston is hard. Especially at six in the morning on a Sunday when all you want is Reese's pieces and he come home with Snickers.

It's been an interesting few weeks, Opie comes and goes for days at a time but as we draw closer to my due date it begins to bother me even more. I worry from time to time that I will go into labor and have nobody here with me.

Speaking of delivery, Tara went MIA so I have been reassigned to another doctor. Apparently as soon as they got Abel back she just couldn't deal with club life anymore and she took off with him. Opie says Jax is taking it pretty hard but I wouldn't know, he keeps me far away from the club house these days. I can feel the tension whenever he brings up SAMCRO. I know he's not telling me everything but I don't push the subject. He doesn't seem like he can handle much more these days. I can't wait to leave this hellbent town.

I roll my eyes thinking of it all. I wish we could just leave now, but I'm eight months pregnant and I can barely pull myself out of this chair. Pregnancy sucks, I can't see my feet, I can't wear heels, I don't remember the last time I wore anything without an elastic waist band, or the last time I felt sexy. The only upside is when this little girl does flip flops to remind me that she's there.

I can feel Opie watching me from the distance as i rock back and forth in the rocking chair he bought for us. When I look over to him he smiles. He's shirtless, leaning against the door frame. "Hey baby", he says.

"Help me up, Please." I reply, bracing my hands against the arm rest. He rushes over to me without hesitation, pulling me up and into his arms. He hugs me for a moment awkwardly, this belly sure gets in the way,

"I can't wait until our little girl gets here." He moves his hands to my stomach, she kicks against his hand. I can't help but melt when this happens, the look of excitement that crosses his bearded face.

He doesn't even seem to mind that all I wear these days are v-necks and leggings. He's probably just so caught up in my huge boobs to even notice anything else.

As my pregnancy has gotten further along he seems to be more and more attracted to me. Maybe it's my hormones or the fact that I love to love him but he seems to enjoy pleasing me more and more these days. Maybe it's to make up for all the times he's gone or for the way others treat me, I don't know but I will take it.

Just like I am about to let him take me, just not in here.

I grab ahold of his hand, pulling him out of the babies room. I can't tell if he knows what's about to come to him but I think he has an idea. I can feel his other hand rest against my hip, walking close to me. I lead him to the living room and instruct him to sit down on the Lovesac that I had shipped to us. Some would say it cost entirely too much for an oversized bean bag chair but these days it's one of the only things I can get comfortable on.

"Lay back." I instruct him, getting down on my knees. He doesn't say anything just does what he is told. I pull at the waist band of his sleep pants, bringing it down to his ankles. "I need you." I whisper, tossing the pants to the side. I move my hands to my own top, pulling it off of me. I have a tank top underneath but I leave it on only pulling out my breast for him to see. I stand for a moment, pulling off my leggings.

I can feel the dampness between my legs, dripping down my cunt. I'm already ready for him but I take my time, pulling my panties down slowly. I can see him growing in front of me. He goes to put his hand around his cock, I wink and nod urging him to touch himself.

I even move my own hands to my breast and to my pussy. Sinking a finger inside of myself, I moan loudly. "Do you like that?"

He nods, rubbing his cock slowly. "Do you want to taste me?" I ask, bending over in front of him, my finger now grazing his lips. He quickly takes it into his mouth, sucking it completely dry.

"Your so sexy." He replies, moving his hands from his cock to my hips. I hover over him for a moment, letting my breast graze his face. He moves to cup one of my breast, taking my nipple into his mouth. He sucks vigorously on it before moving to the other. I'm practically panting, I push him backwards onto the Sac. I can't wait, foreplay can. I put my legs on either side of him, pushing him backwards so he's laying down. I must ride his cock. He is so hard, I can feel him against my clit as I slide myself onto him. He moves one of his hands back to his cock so he can slide into me.

God, I love riding him. Even eight months pregnant, when I look down at him he's focusing on my breast, moaning as I grind against him. He moves his hips upwards, grinding against my G-spot. I can feel myself pulsating down onto him, my orgasm hitting quickly, repeatedly. He's whispering sweet nothings to me but I can't hear him, I only enjoy this moment fully. With a baby we probably won't get too many more moments like this, at least for a while.

When he cums, his eyes squeeze shut. I hear him groan as he sinks himself into me. After a moment I pull myself off of him but he doesn't let me leave. He gently grabs my arm and asks me to lay with him.

We lay there for a while, my back to his chest. His arms gently wrapped around me. He doesn't speak for a long time, just kisses my shoulder. I hear him sigh, he goes to speak but then stops himself.

"I have to go away for a few weeks." He finally says, but I'm too tired to speak. He can't be serious.

"We will talk about it later, but for now lets just sleep", I suggest.

I hear him sigh again but by the time he starts speaking I am off in lala land.


	9. Chapter 9

"I love you." He says, "I will be home soon." Opie reaches forward to kiss me but I turn my cheek away. I can not believe he is leaving me this close to deliver.

"You can't do this to me, I don't want to stay with Jax." I whine, crossing my arms over my chest. "I don't want you to go."

Opie puts his hands on my stomach, rubbing gently. "I've got to keep my babies safe while I'm gone, I promise I will explain when I get back."

I can feel my eyes brewing with tears, I don't want them to fall but I know at this point it is worthless. I am an emotional wreck just thinking about spending the next few weeks anywhere but with Opie. I could seriously go into labor at any moment according to my doctor but Opie just 'has' to go.

"I told you, Freya. If you go into labor or anything happens I will be there before little Ruby arrives." He's kissing my forehead, rubbing my cheeks now.

"Don't go." I beg, throwing my arms around his neck. I bury my face into his chest now, "What is more important than being here, what if my water breaks and the baby just falls out. Who's going to catch her?"

"Come on, baby. We gotta go." He lets go of me, reaches over and grabs my bags.

The next few minutes are a blur, all I can focus on his hand on my thigh and that he keeps biting his lip.

"Listen, baby. I promise you I will explain everything when I get back but for now just now I'm doing this for us. This will set us up financially so you won't have to worry. Little Ruby will have everything she needs and more." He stops the car in front of Jax's house, I notice it is much nicer than Opie's and Kip's. It's a shame to be wasted on somebody that is now without his own family and hardly even spends time here. However, according to Opie he won't be more than fifty feet of me at all times. I don't know which is better, honestly.

Opie reaches over grabbing my hand, "Close your eyes."

"Opie, I don't want to play games right now."

"Will you just do it already?" I oblige, not even bothering to try and peak.

I feel something slide onto my finger, no fucking way.

I open my eyes quickly, darting my attention to the giant Emerald ring he has placed on my finger. "Now I don't want you to think I'm just doing this cause you're pregnant and all but I want you to know how much I love and care for you, Frey." He's staring at me, eyes never leaving mine. "I want you to know that I'm in this for the long haul."

"So, what exactly are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I want to spend the rest of my life with you and Ruby." He reaches over and kisses me gently, his hands move to my cheeks. "Will you marry me?"

"On one condition." I smile, putting my hands over his. "As soon as you're done with whatever you're doing, you never leave me here again."

"I promise, baby." He kisses me again, this time deeper. "Now let's get you inside and settled. The sooner I leave the sooner I can come back."


	10. Chapter 10

When Opie left I noticed he passed an envelope over to Jax. I didn't think much of it until now, at two AM three weeks later.

I haven't heard from Opie in days, when I do speak to him he sounds fatigued and rushed. He's short with me but assures me he will be home soon.

As I snoop around the house, looking for the envelope I feel a sharp pain in my pelvis.

Settle down, little one.

I go from room to room, no sign of a letter and no sign of Jax. That's weird.

I rummage around the kitchen and then the dining room, I look out the window - Jax's bike isn't here. It's only strange to me because for the entire time I have been here he has been so far up my ass. Maybe he's getting some ass.

I step outside a few moments later, looking around. I'm wearing one of Opie's shirts and sleep pants and when the wind blows I can smell the faint scent of him. I feel at home for a moment but it's short lived. Another sharp pain shoots through me, I brave one of the beams of the porch. I feel something dripping down my leg, I look down and from the gleam shining off of the porch light I can tell my water has broken.

It seems to be just my luck because as I'm reaching for the pocket of my pants for my phone I hear a motorcycle zooming down the street. I quickly try to call Opie, no answer. Oh my goodness. Hell no. What the fucking fuck.

A few moments later Jax pulls into the drive way, he looks upset but I barely notice.

"I need to go to the hospital." I say calmly, trying not to raise my voice.

The contractions are far enough apart that I'm not a maniac but I know it's only a matter of time before I lose it.

Jax stares at me for a moment, he doesn't speak. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing... Nothing!" He speaks quickly, not looking at me. He reaches over to me, grabbing my arm. Before I know it we are in his suburban. He doesn't speak to me as he drives, but I could care less. My contractions are getting closer and I'm sitting in a pool of my own wetness.

I try to call Opie once again, this time when the phone rings I hear my ringtone fill the car. It's coming from Jackson's pocket.

He doesn't even notice, why does he have Opie's phone?

"Why do you have his phone?" I scream after a moment, bracing the side bar on the door. I can feel nothing but pain, my vision becoming temporarily blurry.

Jax doesn't speak, he speeds up. I can't tell how far we are from the hospital.

"Jackson." I repeat myself. "Jackson."

He turns to me for a moment, tears in his eyes. "Freya." He says quietly, then looks back at the road. "I'm so sorry, so sorry." He's mumbling now.

I feel another contraction, this time it last longer. "Spit it out."

I notice now that his hands are shaking, he doesn't look at me again.

We are in the hospital parking lot, he stops in front of the emergency room valet and get out. He quickly makes his way to my side of the car and pulls me out.

"They shot him." He mumbles into my ear, "He is gone, Freya. He's gone."

As I step out of the car I feel myself fall to the ground. This can not possibly be happening. I can't see anything, I don't even feel when Jax picks me up or notice anything really until I've been placed onto a hospital bed. I can't focus on anything around me.

Before I know it I am almost completely undressed, my legs are being held by the nurses around me and Jax is holding onto my hand.

"Opie." I whisper before everything goes black.


	11. Chapter 11

I wake up to an empty room, my dreams are faded by recent memories, I reach down to my stomach which now feels empty. I am no longer as bloated as I was just hours ago. I sit up slowly, feeling weak as I do. My body is bruised and I am wearing nothing but a hospital gown. Where is my daughter? Where is everybody?

I look over to my night stand, there is the envelope that Opie had given to Jax. It has my name on it, I reach over for it, quickly unsealing it. There are two letters. I open the first one.

'My love,

If you're reading this I am so sorry. I'm sorry I can not be there and I'm sorry I will not be able to watch you and our baby girl grow. I'm sure she's beautiful, I hope she got your looks, your eyes, and my street smarts.

I gave this letter to my best friend to pass along to you in case something was to happen to me. I guess in this case I am glad I did. I want you to know that this isn't you're fault and there isn't anything that could have kept this from happening.

This is club life and as we both know it can end in death. I want you to know that the choices I have made I am so sorry for but this is who I am. Who I was born to be.

I want you to know that you are well taken care of, that even though I wasn't there when you needed me the most I am always thinking of you.

Jax will always be with you now, he will help you every day until you don't need me anymore. He will raise Ruby like she is his own if you'll let him, he will take care of you all until you're ready to get out of town. Ready to go. I want you to know you're safe with him and what happened to me comes from a long affair of gun running this club has been apart of.

I died for a reason, Frey. It will not go unpunished but it did get this club out of guns once and for all.

I want you to wait until you are feeling better to read the second letter I have attached. I also want you to allow Jax and Ruby to read it one day too.

I also want you to know that my home is yours, to live or leave that is your choice. Maybe stay for a while, keep me with you a little longer.

Please find strength in my love. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in this world, even if our time together was very limited.

Tell Jax I love him too, Gemma, the bang, everybody - especially Ruby. She's going to need you the most.

My beautiful loving girls. May you always have life's best. I know your pain won't end here but this is my start even if it is also my end.

Love forward in life, live free. Time is short, make the most of it. It's okay if you sneak a few cigarettes here or there or drink too much occasionally. Just make sure Ruby has a good babysitter if you do.

I love you, please think of me from time to time. When the wind blows, know I am there.

-Harry

PS I am serious. Don't open that other letter until you're ready, you'll know when the time is right.'

By the end of the letter I am in tears, I don't even notice that Jax has entered the room or  
The fact that he's holding my baby.

He sits down on the chair next to my bed, his arms bracing her gently. When I look over at them I can't help but sob. This is not the way this is supposed to be, first my mom, then Kip- now Opie. I look down at my daughter, she has a head full of dark hair, her skin is pale white, cheeks puffy.

"Can I hold her?" I whisper, holding my hands out.

"Of course." He doesn't hesitate, standing in front of me he hands me the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

"You should go skin to skin with her, it helps them bond to you." Jax is mumbling, when I don't respond he makes his way towards the door. "I will let myself out."

"Don't go." I whisper as I hold her to my chest. " I need your help."

The next few moments would have been terribly awkward if I has an ounce of care left in me but without hesitation I hand Ruby over to Jax once again, removing my gown, he doesn't look at me but at Ruby. He holds her out to me once again, laying her on my bare chest. He then covers me with a blanket.

She snores quietly against my chest moments later.

Jax goes to speak, "I don't want to talk about it." I can feel tears in my eyes but I can't continue to speak. He reaches over instead, his hand resting on my free one. He's wearing one of Opie's rings. My tears are flowing freely now. I can't even look at Ruby. "Please take her." I cry, raising my voice slightly.

He takes her out of my arms, into his own and out of the room. In a few moments he returns. He looks at me seriously, "I need you to get it together, Freya." He pulls my covers up over me once again, making sure I am not exposed.

"Look the doctors here don't think its a good idea for you to take the baby home. They are coming in the morning to do an entire evaluation of your mental health in the morning." He sighs loudly, hands shaking once again. "Listen to me." He says, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "With Opie..." He stops for a moment, "Look I have talked to my lawyer and I know you're not going to like this but with it just being you, if they think you're an unfit parent they can take Ruby and give her to the state... But." He stops.

"But what?" I raise an eyebrow, my hands moving to my eyes to rub away the tears.

"I have an idea." He speaks again, his hands running through his hair, "In Charming there isn't a requirement for blood work to sign a birth certificate. Nobody from the club would fight it, if I sign the birth certificate and act like Ruby is my daughter they can't take her away from you." He's shaking his head.

"But Opie is her father." I whisper, sniffling.

"You and I both know that, Freya. But it's not looking good you alone, I don't want them to take her from you. I have been through this county bullshit before. They are quick to take away."

That is all I needed to hear, nobody is taking her away from me, "Okay."

"So here is what we need to do." He begins to tell me a long story, one that six hours from now I will repeat to the doctors and social workers.

It's all a blur to me, from telling them lie after lie - that Opie was just cover up for Jackson and my relationship so that Tara wouldn't know of my pregnancy, I don't feel convinced but somehow they are. They learn that Opie just acted as my protector. Or at least that's what I tell them. I act as if Opie's death hasn't affected me nearly as much as it has.

When they leave one of them does stop to speak to us, just after we all sign the birth certificate. "We will be watching you."


	12. Chapter 12

The next few months go by in a flash, I spend most of my time with Ruby. She amazes me every day. Her hair is curly and her eyes get brighter every day. She smiles during bath time and is finally sleeping through the night. I still haven't been able to bring myself to go back into the home I shared with Opie. Instead of selling it or even Kip's house for that matter, there are club members staying in both residences until I figure out what I want to do. As far as finances go everything is taken care of, Opie really did have all of his ducks in a row. I actually ended up quitting my job with all of the stress, with option to come back when I'm ready. Right now though, I am only focused on Ruby and keeping up the appearance that Jackson and I are together, even though we certainly are not. He seems to take his lack of time he gets to spend with his own son and invests it on Ruby. I can tell he misses him and it does help that he is here for me. Social services is pretty active with us these days, making sure she is well kept after and that I am emotionally stable. Granted, I haven't ever felt more if a mess than I am now I would say I am keeping up a good front - Gemma confirms often. Although they are not blood, they truly have been there for me. Even on my worst days, when I can't bare to look at my daughter. Now, I know that sounds horrible to say but sometimes when she smiles it hurts my heart. I see so much of Opie in her already and while I'm trying desperately to remain strong at some point we all fall into our weakness. Today is one of those days, thankfully Gemma has decided to watch her throughout the weekend. I have the house pretty much to myself other than Jackson and currently he is trying to convince me to go out. I'm hesitant but after he reminds me it's my own birthday and that everyone is waiting on me do I decide I will go out. I almost forgot what it was like to dress nice, to do your hair, or even wear make up but tonight I try. For the first time in what seems like forever I do feel like a lady. I scan my closet, looking for anything that might still fit but too my surprise nearly all my clothes are too big, even the ones I had purchased pre-pregnancy. I rummage through for a moment, looking for one of my bodycon dresses. Coming across one of my older bandage cut out dresses, I pull it over me. Hell, this used to give me back fat. It fits snug but no signs of muffin top, so I figure I am good to go. I don't spend much time on makeup, a little eyeliner, lip gross, mascara, nothing to extreme - after all who do I have to impress? Slipping on a pair of wedges, I look over myself in the mirror. Here goes nothing. 


	13. Chapter 13

Because they decided on going to a bar in town, I find myself clinging close to Jax. Got to keep up appearances, right? We stand close in the bar, his hand rests on the small of the bare space on my back. I shutter slightly, wishing it was another man's hand. It feels wrong when he touches me but when he hands me my drink, a vodka tonic, I notice from the corner of my eye some of the people from the county. Obviously they're off duty but nonetheless they're here.

Over the next few minutes I find myself drinking consistently as people come up to me and wish me happy days ahead, I can only imagine that they're here because they feel bad for me. "Shots!" Comes from all around the bar, Juice and Chibs are my first offenders. We do shot after shot of jäger.

I feel myself loosening up as Jackson excuses himself. I'm dancing with my new found friends, forgetting my troubles for the first time in months. I feel a pair of hands snake around my waist from behind, "We have quite the audience tonight." Jackson's lips are close to my ear, he speaks quietly so only I can hear him. It must be the alcohol, but I find myself leaning into him as I nod. I can smell the alcohol on his breath. I turn to face him, when I look at him I see the same sadness I carry. Sometimes it hurts to look at him, the rage he carries, the sadness he speaks - especially when speaking of Opie. Oh, Opie. I wish for one night I didn't dream of you. I wish it was your arms I was in, but that's not possible. You aren't here and I will never get to kiss you or make love to you ever again.

I sigh inwardly, returning my attention to Jackson. I almost feel bad for him, after all he is forced to spend most of his time with me and the crow eaters have become sparse these days. He must be so lonely. Before I can say anything I feel myself being lifted, Jackson sits me down on the bar, "Body shots!" Before I know it I've got a lime in my mouth, a shot of tequila in between my breast and salt on my neck. He takes his time licking it off of me, downs the shot and takes the lime from my mouth. Our lips barely miss each other but I'm so taken back by the whole thing I just sit there, stunned. He pulls me off the bar, allowing the other girls to take a turn. Everyone seems to be having a great time but I find myself feeling guilty. He isn't Opie.

I shouldn't be doing this but I find myself wanting to. I deserve to cut loose every once in a while. "Can I have a cigarette?" I ask, Jackson pulls out his pack, not answering he grabs my hand and pulls me outside with him. We walk for a minute before turning the corner, he lights a cigarette for both of and hands it to me. As I breathe in the smoke I can't help but miss the feeling, the taste it used to leave on Opie's lips, I crave to feel that again. I lean back against the brick, the silence between us is still. Jackson doesn't speak for a moment just stares at me, his cut hangs identical to how Opie used to wear his, he's freshly shaven for once and has his hair slicked back. I can't help but miss running my fingers through a man's hair.

"It's good to see you smile, Darlin." He finally mumbles, running his free hand through his hair.

"Well, what can I say? You put on a good show." I feel my cheeks slightly flushing, I'm thankful for the dim lighting.

"It's not all show, girl." He smiles down at me, flicking his cigarette out. Before I can respond he walks away leaving me outside alone. As I go to flick my cigarette out I notice a familiar face in the distance. As he approaches closer I realize he was there just after my delivery, Antwan.

"A good show, huh?" He calls out to me, "Not very honest of you now, is it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I roll my eyes, "Don't you have somebody else to bother?"

I walk back towards the entrance but he stops me, placing his hand over the doorknob, "I told you from the get go I would be watching you, miss." He shakes his head, I try not to shudder at how close he is to me.

"Noted." I step closer to him, "Now if you would just get out of my way, I have a party to attend to."

"You're lucky I've been drinking." He says before letting go. "So lucky."

I sigh dramatically, feeling a drunken burst of confidence. "Fuck off."

The next few minutes are spent downing shots with Tig and Juice, a loud happy birthday cheers, and random people attempting to buy me shots.

"Dance with me!" I call out to Jax who is leaning against the bar, he leans forward holding out his hands for me. When I try to pull him forward I slip and end up pushing myself into him and in return into the bar.

"I don't dance." He laughs, holding into my hips now. I attempt to step back but he is much stronger than I am.

"Please." I plead, pouting my bottom lip. "I like it when you beg." He winks, " but keep doing that, I'll bite it off."

"You wouldn't." I chuckle, jutting my bottom lip out more.

The bar is crowded but I can't help but feel eyes on us. It's funny how easily his mood changes.

"Don't tease me." He moves his hands down slightly, grabbing at my hips.

"What are you doing?" I laugh but he looks serious.

"Don't test me." He bites his lip, leaning forward he does something I don't expect. He spins me around and takes me to the dance floor, the song is slow and sexy. I turn away from him, my back resting against his chest. For someone who doesn't dance he sure knows how to rock his hips.

He leans my head into his shoulder, breath hot on my ear. "You like that, huh?" He asks, hands moving forward on my hips, he's so close to my private area. I squirm in his arms but choose to ignore him as he speaks.

"Darlin, if you keep doing that I'm going..." He stops speaking but as he does he pulls my bottom back into his groin. He must be drunk. A moment of courage comes over me, I pull my hands over his, grinding back into him. He's hard. Is this wrong?

I try not to overthink as he presses himself firmly against me. After a few more minutes of dancing I feel my legs growing tired and as much as I miss the feeling of a man against my body, I pull myself away from Jax. He groans loudly but follows me back to the bar, I decide then that it's time to leave.

Making up an excuse I call a cab to pick us up. There's no way he's driving in this condition. He's being rather aggressive as we wait outside, he keeps his hands on my hips, presses me back into his chest, I can still feel his groin pressing hot against my back. What am I going to do?

Do or die, right?

Giving him a taste of what I got, I hop into the cab without saying anything. Jax sits next to me, his hand resting firmly on my thigh. I take this moment to pull away from him, moving my hands under my dress. "Watch this." I mumble, pulling my panties off in a swift movement. Staring at him, I place them in my purse before sticking his hand underneath my dress. The cab is dark, I hope that he's the only one who takes notice. He rubs gently at my thigh, causing me to almost moan. He looks at me with a blank stare,

"Don't think I am that easy." He warns but he doesn't move his hand, he's so close to my warmth I could squeal. He leans over, his lips meeting my ear. I can smell tequila and weed on him, "Don't cum already." He growls. "I will punish you." I pull his hand off of me slowly, not sure what I've gotten myself into but find myself surprisingly turned on.

* * *

**Alright everybody. Sorry for the error in my last posing of this chapter. I was trying to upload the file through my mobile - EPIC FAIL. **

**Anyways, Please comment and review - your input really helps me! Also, lets me know that you're continuing to read and enjoy my story! I'm feeling a bit rusty but I would like to continue writing!**

**I need feedback! Be honest!**


	14. Chapter 14

If I wasn't so drunk I might have felt guilty, but in this moment as I sit on Jax's countertop I don't feel anything but lust. My legs wrap around his waist, his hands holding me tightly there.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" He says, inching closer to my face.

"There's no going back now." And then we're kissing, kissing like we've never been kissed before. His hands are up my dress, kneading at my thighs. My hands are lost in his hair, pulling him closer to me. Our tongues have met and are battling for control, eyes closed, heart closed, legs open.

He lets go of me for a moment, pulling off his cut and then his t-shirt. His muscles flex as he undoes his jeans. He lets them slide to his ankles, leaving him in front of me only in his boxers. I feel my legs twitch as I stare at his sculpted body; he moves his hands back to me, pulling and prodding at my dress until its off of me. I sit there exposed, clad only in a bra and my wedged heels, I go to kick them off but he stops me. "I like those." He mutters, moving closer to me. In one swift movement his hands are on my breast, he pulls them out, my bra acting as a prop extending them higher. He smacks at them firmly before replacing his fingers with his lips, I can feel nothing but pleasure as he bruises my body. In this moment I truly am his.

"Stop, Stop." I mumble, pushing him slightly away from me. I move my hands to his shoulders, pulling him back with my legs. They wrap so easily around his waist, I smile. He kisses me again, hot on the lips and then moves downward to my neck. A low moan escapes my lips; he moves one hand to my mouth. I take each of his fingers inside of my lips, sucking them individually. His lips move lower and lower but I pull him closer to me, I can feel him growing against me. I'm bare and the only thing keeping him from me is his boxers. "Take off your clothes." I whimper, pulling back from him once again.

"And why should I do that?" He grunts, looking me dead in the eye. He places one hand under my chin, caressing it lightly.

"Because I want you." I whisper.

"You'll have to say it louder than that."

"I want you." I say a little louder, blushing.

"Louder."

"I want you to fuck me." I scream.

He grins at me, "All you had to do was ask." He's chuckling now, but doesn't remove his boxers.

"Fuck you." I frown now, attempting to turn my cheek to him but his hand is planted firmly there.

"That's what I intend to do." He moves closer, moving his hands to my neck. He lays them there flatly for a moment before gripping firmly. "Do you like that?"

Surprisingly enough, I do. I don't respond though, only nod before he lets go. He replaces his hands with soft kisses, up and down my neck and to my chest. I take the moment to push down at his boxers with my legs, he springs free almost instantaneously. When I look down at his erection, I feel startled. He's much bigger than anyone that I have ever been with. I do everything I can not to think of Opie and it works.

I push forward against him, hips rubbing against each other. He doesn't enter me though, just rubs his cock against my mound. I sigh loudly, he pulls back from me. He spreads my legs wide, smacking gently against my clit. He doesn't leave his hand there for long. I have never experienced anything like this before. "Turn over." He commands, "Bend over the counter."

"What?" I raise an eyebrow, crossing my arms over my exposed chest.

"Bend over." Is all he says, smiling coolly at me.

I'm not sure how to respond but instead of protesting I do as I'm told, I bend over the counter resting my elbows on it, heels flat on the floor. He stands close to me, hands reaching out to grasp my ass.

"What are you doing?" I whisper, unsure of what is to come next. I feel him pull one hand back, the other gripping tightly at my waist. He brings the other down swiftly before placing a strong hand back swiftly, spanking me – hard on the ass cheek.

I groan loudly but before I can say anything I feel a finger probing the edge of my pussy, he slides it in quickly, rubbing gently against my g-spot. He doesn't retract his finger but adds another before spanking me once again with his other hand. I cry out, this time out of pleasure.

"Please." I cry.

"Please what?" he groans, fingering me harder. He moves his other hand around, now attacking vigorously at my clit. He knows that he's doing, perfectly in time, causing me to drench his hands.

"Fuck me." I barely whisper, moaning at the same time.

"I'm going to fuck you until you cum all over me." He retreats his hands from me, pulling one of his arms back to around my neck. He holds me in a standing position now, hand firmly placed on the side of my neck. "I want you to look at me while I fuck you."

As we walk to the bedroom he urges me to keep my shoes on, I hear him kick his off as we walk quickly down the hallway. I stop suddenly once we hit his bedroom, his hand drops from my neck. Once the door opens it on, he takes no time to push me onto his bed. He kisses me once again before forcefully entering me. In a swift motion, he's on top of me, his hands brace him up, my legs wrap around his waist once again. I moan loudly, looking him directly. His eyes never leave me; he takes his time, moving in slowly.

I beg him to speed up, even though it hurts, I feel myself expanding for him.

I'm begging for more, I want more.


End file.
